Mumbai-based radio jockey Rohini Ramnathan has unfolded about coping with her husband’s unexpected demise after 4 years of marriage. In an interview with Humans of Bombay, Ms Ramnathan mentioned that she went thru more than one phases of grief – surprise, anger, numbness – after finding out of her husband Kaushik’s demise 4 years in the past. She drowned herself in paintings and sough remedy for her psychological well being. It used to be months sooner than she started to really feel like herself once more, she says.
“I met Kaushik through common friends,” Ms Ramnathan recollects in her interview. “Being an RJ, I loved storytelling while he was a writer; we hit it off.”
The two began spending increasingly more time in combination after their first assembly and ultimately began courting. After 3 years of courting, Kaushik proposed – a lot to Ms Ramnathan’s pleasure. “We were that couple who’d complete each other’s sentences. And so, after three years he asked me to marry him, I said ‘yes’!” she says.
The subsequent 4 years had been glad ones for the couple, who travelled, kissed underneath the Eiffel Tower and “lived in love”.
“We’d often dream of relocating to New York- it was his favourite city. But four years after we got married, Kaushik passed away… It was so sudden,” says Ms Ramnathan.
The unexpected lack of her husband left her reeling. “I felt so many emotions-shock, anger and then went numb. I wanted to block everything,” she says. After 14 days, she drowned herself in paintings and resumed taking pictures – regardless that she used to be frequently subjected to mean-spirited remarks from folks questioning how she used to be off the bed so quickly after her husband’s demise.
“But while I was putting on a tough exterior during the day, every night I’d break down,” says Ms Ramnathan.
This development endured for 10 months sooner than she sought remedy. “It took months before I started feeling like myself again,” the RJ says.
But even then, transferring ahead used to be no longer simple. Ms Ramnathan says that straightforward issues – like choosing out a sofa – was exhausting. ” And every time I filled out a form, I had to be conscious about choosing ‘single’ instead of ‘married’,” she provides.
The hardest time for her, she says, used to be in New York. She visited town to grasp why Kaushik had beloved it such a lot – however being there used to be “living the future we could never have.”
“I hated it,” she says. “But it was also important because being there made me embrace my emotions. Slowly, I started putting myself first; I knew Kaushik would have wanted that.”
Over time, she started to seek out him in little issues – like his favorite dish, rasam chawal, or when she cracked a shaggy dog story she knew he would have preferred.
“It’s been four years since he left us, but even today, if I’m stuck, I think about what he’d say and do exactly that,” says Ms Ramnathan. “We couldn’t have a forever but in our 7 years together, Kaushik gave me memories to last a lifetime. And they’ll keep me going until the day I meet him again,” she concludes.
Ms Ramnathan’s touching account of affection and loss has struck a chord with social media customers. On Instagram and Facebook, her publish has racked up hundreds of reactions and feedback.
“You have always been an extraordinary human being and an inspiration to so many. I don’t think one ever stops grieving the loss of a loved one but you have kept Kaushik alive within you,” wrote one commenter.
“So beautiful and emotional, got tears in my eyes. Stay strong,” any other mentioned.
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